<h1>U.P. ELECTIONS <br> THE GREAT INDIAN tamASHA<br></h1>

Knock! Knock!

Whose there?

Hello everyone, it's the LONE WOLF! You know why? Because I am the one who knocks!

Well folks, this is my first blog ever and I hope I am not making you miss out on another iconic Swami Om saga by making you read this capricious endeavour of mine to start a blog.

So, without further making senseless jokes, lets get rolling.

It's winter time in North India and what better to raise the mercury than a heated election festival in the Hindi heartland of Uttar Pradesh, India's most populated state.I know we have simultaneous elections in 5 states ( no, Chetan Bhagat's crappy novel's name was two states!), but we will mostly be weighing in on UP elections for the simple reason that, damm it's entertaining!

On one side, we have our "MitronMan" SuShri Mahatama ModiJi with his 56 inch chest bursting out of his woolen Kurtas. Facing him, on the other side of the aisle is our very own Rahul Baba, against whom I have this grudge that he didn't instagram his new year celebration pics from London( or Disneyland, whatever!). Pitching in for another hit at the big chair is Akhilesh babu, who, in every sense of the word, has decided to take the road less travelled. The last, and obviously the least comes our Behen Kumari Mayawati.I am going to express my unhinged opinion about all these players, each of whose election war cry sounds like that of a butcher's lullaby to cajole a gullible canary!

## B.J.P. led by Shri ModiJi and his sharpshooter AmitJi

When the Lok Sabah results of U.P. were announced in 2K14, BJP sucker punched all of its rivals by winning some 70 odd seats if my memory serves right while Samajwadi Party managed a spectacular 5 seats. Congress secured 3rd spot with a delightful 0 seats.

While there is no CM face from BJP in this state, from what we know so far is that Yogi Adityanath is a candidate for the top job! Yes, when SuShri ModiJi is asking for digital payment, he is challenging the intelligence of an average UPwallah by pitching such base level whatevers! Riding on the self delusional wave of the massive success ( in hogging limelight only) of DeModitisation, ooopsy, I mean Demonitisation, BJP thinks they can conquer this major election with nothing substantive to offer. SuShri ModiJi is expected to go into an overdrive of "MitronMan rallies", invoking all the colossal leaders from the footnotes of history, thus disproving kejriwal's charge that he failed his history classes!

And, of course, a Ram Mandir will be built very soon!!With no strong leadership at the helm of affairs, BJP is still expected to come 2ND in this zingy race.

## S.P. ( SAMAJWADI PARTY ) led by ' to be decided soon '

Well, almost everyone has already ridiculed S.P.'s situation enough, so I will not just follow suit. As per my opinion, Mulayam is a wile leader who has no doubt gone senile. This Battle of chacha-bhatija is more than just a power struggle for the top spot. Akhilesh Yadav has realised that his government boasts of medallions such as corruption, brazen goondaism, nepotism and communalism. The play that Akhilesh is trying to play is that he was being held back by his oldie uncles and that he is indeed the knight in shining armour on a cycle that will rid U.P. of all its ill fated problems and usher in a new era of development. Quite frankly, I think this is a charade being played to fool the voters.

Elections aside, it will be interesting to see who gets his way in this family showdown.All said, I think a joint front of Congress and S.P. will form the next govt in UP with CM coming from the party that gets more seats.

## Congress led by Rahul baba 

Believe it or not, I got really nothing to say something about of Rahul baba that's already being not said about him in various comedy shows! He raises hell by issuing a warning that an earthquake will come if he makes public his insinuations against PMji ( okay, I have used ji Everytime when referring to Modji, so I hope the lone wolf is not going to jail for this blog). On the contrary, PATTA TAK NAHIN HILA sahab ! He wants SuShri ModiJi to spend time with poor people, but flies away to a foreign land to sing his New Year songs! Last I heard, Sheila Dixit ( DilliWali CM ) is Congress's CM face in this crucial election. Frankly, she is just another fallGal for yet another blooper show by Rahul.

All being said from the perspective of a neutral commentator, I think that people might vote for Congress in some parts of the state only if they go into an alliance with AKHILESH'S S.P. If not, even our PK (Prashant Kishore) won't be able to save Cong from yet another flop show.

## B.S.P. (BAHUJAN SAMAJ PARTY) led by Smt Mayawati

What are first two words that come to your mind when I mention behenji's name? My choice of words would be corruption and casteism. Mayawati's tenure as CM was a hallmark of unabashed corruption. I still remember that in reply to a PIL against huge money wasted in the construction of simple Public Park, the then BSP led govt shamelessly reported that a bench, a simple bench in the park costed around 3 lakhs! However, the law and order situation under Behenji was much better than that compared to a mockery that has been created by S.P. Quite recently, it was reported that BSP had deposited hundreds of crores of demonetized currency in banks which was being investigated by CBI. Icing on the cake were news reports which proved that Mayawati’s brothers asset value had grown by an astronomical figure of 1800% in the last decade or so. Quite unabashedly, Mayawati came out and alleged that this was vendetta politics by BJP to stop a " Dalit ki beti". I feel ashamed that such shameless politicians are our leaders. All she has in store is blatant blasphemous caste’s and communalism in her popular side bag.

That being said, she is a political dark horse (not racist slurr intended) and may surprise all by becoming the kingmaker, if not the queen herself. The lone Wolf's prediction for this maverick lass is a fighting 3rd.

So, now we come to the end of this agonizing blog from a greenhorn in the art of writing a blog. I humbly express my gratitude to all those readers who surprisingly found this blog interesting. If you enjoy blogs laced with crass humour and sarcastic slangs, I suggest you subscribe or register whatever you call it to my blog EXPRESSIONS VISTA and also ask your friends to endure this literary misery.

Until next blog, Adios my readers!!

Cheers.